This week's exercise was all about reflecting on our lives -- on where we are, where we're coming from, and where we want to go. I really hate self-reflection like that. It seems to me like a huge waste of time. I should rather pick up the upstairs bathroom, or wash the dishes. However, Chris Orwig writes how he insists on this exercise with his students and that often those who resist most, are very grateful for doing it afterwards. Ooookay. I can try.

It's not a fun exercise but it's meant to lead you away from the mainstream so many photographers follow and help you "overcome following someone else's lead". That is, I think, especially important for photographers who are just starting out in a world full of highly talented experts who love to give advice. Disconnecting from the mainstream requires a conscious effort of will -- at least, for me it does.

It's also not a good exercise to share because when you do it honestly, there will be lot of uncovered issues you don't really want the world to know about.

So, what can I tell you? I did the exercise. I made a word self-portrait. I looked at tragedy and loss in my life. I looked at my interests and passions, my connections and my goals.

Here is something I can tell you:

I love creating. I noticed that when I don't photograph, I do something else - like crocheting a blanket for my daughter, knitting some socks for my husband, doing some fun arts and crafts stuff, painting the walls, planting flowers. Some years back, I did a challenge where I had to do something creative every day for the month of April. I love looking back at all the beautiful creations I made and am a bit sad that I don't do more these days. Granted, I didn't homeschool my kids back then and the three boys were gone all morning to school and kindergarten, and Leah still took naps.

But I know that when I cannot be creative, I become deeply unhappy. That's kind of funny because I would never describe myself as a creative person. Serious disconnect, eh?

A blanket I am currently making for my daughter

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